Have you ever taken a good look at the people around you and actually imagined life without them? I haven’t even bothered to try……i am 17 and I have to say goodbye and start imaginig and realizing that he won't be around for ever.
This is for the one I loved. Yes, it was love. I have had my fair share of un-requited crushes and flings and a few relationships and none of them was ever like this one. I mean at first it was just a vague giddy crush and then as time passed by, it evolved into something more. I stopped caring about what you looked like or how you behaved or how people raised their eyebrows at the thought of “having feelings for you”. I could only focus in the way you hugs made me feel, the way you were so over-enthusiastic about everything you did, the way you teased me and claimed I was easily bugged. I wish that you had seen me just for once as more than a friend,because that’s a zone I knew I would never escape. I would have loved you with everything I had…because I already did.
I would have never been the jealous, suspicious type. I would have loved you and never stopped. I never will. You never crushed my heart…in fact you are for the most part unaware about the amount of my heart you hold…or held and for that I love you. Yes, I “got over you” in the sense that I stopped dreaming about you and me, I stopped being unable to blush when your name was said or when you smiled at me. I stopped crying about you. But I don’t ever think I can forget you. I know I may love someone else again, perhaps more and almost certainly just as much. But I will never forget you, because a part of me will never stop loving you.
I keep holding on to the “we’ll keep in touch promises” and the rumours that you are taking a gap year. Because to me you symbolize on of the first ventures into the complicated world where no body could shelter me…and you helped me realize that just because he breaks your heart he is not a horrible evil person and you can deal with it. For that too… I love you.
I honestly can't belive i have to say goodbye. That i have to go through the rest of my life and not feel that jump in my heart when i see you. no more you...
I love(ed?) you. I will miss you. All I ask is that you don't forget me....and I know I'll never forget you.
Comments
saying goodbye to someone you love is so sad.
i see love as the highest link of relationship that 2 people can have. and of course the higher the relationship the harder it is to break. but goodbye and the thought of never seeing that person again, its a wound to that bond.
but believe me im sure tht he is really sry if u felt hurt or cried cos of him n i kno tht he wont let things get in the way of ur friendship wi him... im sure hed lyk to get to kno u btr than he already does, not to raise ur hopes or anythin but so tht he doesnt lose a great friend, its jus tht he lyks this other girl n was n is confused bout life n wut he shud do n i dont think he was or is ready to let go n open up to like another girl as much so dont b hard on urself...
just kno tht wut he wants most for u is for u to realize wut he cudnt n let anothr into ur heart lyk u let him n hav no regrets at all n still b good friends wi him..
b urself n no matter wut anybody tells u, ur a great friend n one thing he really regrets is pushin u away n not takin the time to get to kno u btr.. if u really want closure u shud tlk to him n figure summin out together... tc hugs
I do realise now i WAS being rather hard on myself and well he is an amzing friend and i really really want us to be that way. Like i said he represents the first venture into a world where i have to get hurt to learn and no matter how hard anybody tries they can't sheild you and you gotta learn it on your own.
someone once told me that i should never regret anything that once made me smile....
i never will :)
Thanx to whoever posted that comment....you helped me remove ll traces of self-doubt and remined me why he is my friend first and foremost! wgich i belive is what everyone should be :)
ps this post n the earlier long comment was written by Jiraiya
if u hav any questions other than who i really am jus leave a post here n ill get back to u within the week :-D tc hugs
its pronounced as G-ra-ya
oh btw HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! Hope u Enjoyed ur Birthday...... all the best for the year to come n may ur dreams come true :D tc
JIRAIYA!!!!!!!!!!
still think i could have figured this one out tho :P
xoxo
btw who is this jiraiya fellow?? he is there in this cartoon program i watch as well..
tc hugs and kisses
ps - u kno u shud hav told me who the guy is n i cud hav helped u out..
querida
i wanna no who this dude is too... u know how i get when i dnt know things! btw thanx for offering to be there for me...u know im always there if u need to talk ok? :) xoxo amingo/querida
no probs wont open tht chapter in ur lyf.. im glad ur moving on n thanx for the other day it was good to tlk to sum1 bout tht matter..
pls lets close the chapter of my life with querida in it ya :D i really dont care if it suits me cos viran suits me soo much btr :)
tc n loads of hugs