(Judge me - I enjoyed watching Desperate Housewives. It was like a guilty pleasure of mindless, funny, bitchy television that I indulged in.
Easily my favourite character was Bree. The Bree of later seasons, once she had gotten some shaking up and scandal under her belt - but she never lost her hilarious uptight wit that resulted in some excellent lines.
So I share with you some of my all time favorites)
Guy at Bar: Can I buy you a drink?
Bree: You can buy me breakfast
Orson: Your stripper name! You take your mothers maiden name and put it together with the name of your childhood pet and you get your stripper name
Bree: Orson I am far to busy to spend time exploring my hypothetical career in the American adult film industry!
Andrew: You're pimping me out for a new roof?
Bree: And windows... and I'm not pimping you out, I'm simply asking you to show some kindness to a lonely man who happens to be an excellent roofer.
Andrew: Look, if by kindness you mean sex...
Bree: Watch your mouth, I would never suggest that. You can raise a man's hopes without satisfying them, I've done it all my life. Andrew, I have got to get back into my house, and you're my only hope.
Andrew: Fine, for you I'll flirt, I'll flatter and I'll charm.
Bree: Bless you...
Andrew: And in exchange... I expect a 60-inch flat-screen TV.
Bree: Fine. And if you can get him to come on time and under budget, I'll throw in surround sound.
Bree: Oh, sweetie, they didn't abandon you because you're a whore, they abandoned you because you weren't all that nice to begin with.
Bree: For God's sake, Phyllis, don't you ever worry about dehydration?
Phyllis Van De Kamp: Are you saying that I am too emotional?
Bree: I'm saying that even Italians take a break now and again.
Bree: You have to hand it to the Catholics. They do grief better than anyone.
Bree: Andrew do young people still say 'awesome'?
Easily my favourite character was Bree. The Bree of later seasons, once she had gotten some shaking up and scandal under her belt - but she never lost her hilarious uptight wit that resulted in some excellent lines.
So I share with you some of my all time favorites)
Guy at Bar: Can I buy you a drink?
Bree: You can buy me breakfast
Orson: Your stripper name! You take your mothers maiden name and put it together with the name of your childhood pet and you get your stripper name
Bree: Orson I am far to busy to spend time exploring my hypothetical career in the American adult film industry!
Andrew: You're pimping me out for a new roof?
Bree: And windows... and I'm not pimping you out, I'm simply asking you to show some kindness to a lonely man who happens to be an excellent roofer.
Andrew: Look, if by kindness you mean sex...
Bree: Watch your mouth, I would never suggest that. You can raise a man's hopes without satisfying them, I've done it all my life. Andrew, I have got to get back into my house, and you're my only hope.
Andrew: Fine, for you I'll flirt, I'll flatter and I'll charm.
Bree: Bless you...
Andrew: And in exchange... I expect a 60-inch flat-screen TV.
Bree: Fine. And if you can get him to come on time and under budget, I'll throw in surround sound.
Bree: Oh, sweetie, they didn't abandon you because you're a whore, they abandoned you because you weren't all that nice to begin with.
Bree: For God's sake, Phyllis, don't you ever worry about dehydration?
Phyllis Van De Kamp: Are you saying that I am too emotional?
Bree: I'm saying that even Italians take a break now and again.
Bree: You have to hand it to the Catholics. They do grief better than anyone.
Bree: Andrew do young people still say 'awesome'?
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