Lessons Learned from 2012
I have to say – tough lessons. And made me a little more cynical than I already am – so excuse the sarky tone.
- There are people I need to thank for keeping me sane this year. I swear if I couldn’t call them and just let them hold me, I would have never made it through. My Rocks. Thank you for teaching me that at my lowest, my most messed up; you will always see the best of me. You will always tell me what I need to hear and you will hold my flawed self together.
- When it comes to my relationships – I am a lot more fucked up than I have admitted to myself. I have tried to let people in only for them to fail me, and be unable to see past my flaws. I have realized I have barriers for this reason – and I don’t know if they fail me, or it is I who refuse to let them beyond a point.
- I am hard to accept, and I am not an easy person to be around. This isn’t a bad thing – it weeds out the weak! But it is something I have learned – that those who wish to be in my life – it’s a lot to take.
- My flaws are a part of who I am. They make me what I am. They are the scars I have from battles both won and lost, they are the reminders of what I have survived. They are the risks I took, the dreams I lost.
- It is much harder to live without regrets than you would imagine. When people deny you the respect you know you deserve, when they let you down, when they disappoint - it is very tough to not regret letting them in to begin with. But you need to look past the anger - and remember what you learn.
2012…you were good at trying to make me believe the best in people. I thought that was the lesson you would teach. Wish you had.