The begining of the end.....
It’s almost my last year of school. Wow….my last year of “he/she switched to this/that clique conversations”, my last year of “why they should totally go out” theories, my last year of salivating over the donuts in the canteen, my last year of childhood. Its time for us to leave the nest and grow up…and you know what? I don’t think many of us want to. I certainly don’t. I don’t want to face a life where I have to make decisions and where I have to worry about whether my life is going somewhere. I don’t want to face a life where I have to take responsibility for my own actions and where relationships become truly serious.
I have met, left, loved, cried over, bitched about and hugged a gazillion people in the hallowed halls of my school. And I want to do it all over again!! I want to have long gossip sessions with my best gal-pals about how the world can be represented by the TV Sitcom “Friends”. I want to watch one of my best friends run all over the place with a million things on her mind and meet my amused gaze with a sheepish smile. I want to watch “a high-school musical” and be teased about how sad I am for loving it. I even want to get my heart broken
When I think of what we have all gone through in our lives I smile and cry and the same time. No matter what people say, life is TOUGH as a teen. Screw jobs and tax payments and interest rates. They have nothing to do with the person you are and the person you become. As a teen we have to discover who we are, what we believe in, and why we want things. We have to learn to love and loose, we have to learn to cry inside and laugh outside and we have to learn to deal with everything life chucks at us.
I remember one day when we watched the batch preceding us spend their last “official” day in school. They were signing shirts, singing songs and having a water fight. Having several good friends in the batch two of my best friends and I stood around watching them and telling them how much we would miss them. Then it hit us like a bolt form the blue. This was it. That would be us next year saying our goodbyes. That would be us crying and throwing water around and swearing bonds of eternal friendship. The three of us looked at each other and it took me a great effort not to let my emotions over flow. I have never been the smartest, or prettiest or most popular kid in the grade. In face I was invisible for much of my younger years. But I was almost always happy. And that is what i am going to remember for the rest of my life. The giggles shared with my friends, the smiled flashed over private jokes, the bubbly feeling when everything seemed to go right in the world. Not the feeling of she’s better than me and I will never be loved, not the feeling of despair, because you know what? They hardly made an impression on my life; they were merely passing clouds that blocked the sunshine momentarily.
This is the beginning of the end…..