And So We Say Goodbye
Have you ever taken a good look at the people around you and actually imagined life without them? I haven’t even bothered to try……i am 17 and I have to say goodbye and start imaginig and realizing that he won't be around for ever.
This is for the one I loved. Yes, it was love. I have had my fair share of un-requited crushes and flings and a few relationships and none of them was ever like this one. I mean at first it was just a vague giddy crush and then as time passed by, it evolved into something more. I stopped caring about what you looked like or how you behaved or how people raised their eyebrows at the thought of “having feelings for you”. I could only focus in the way you hugs made me feel, the way you were so over-enthusiastic about everything you did, the way you teased me and claimed I was easily bugged. I wish that you had seen me just for once as more than a friend,because that’s a zone I knew I would never escape. I would have loved you with everything I had…because I already did.
I would have never been the jealous, suspicious type. I would have loved you and never stopped. I never will. You never crushed my heart…in fact you are for the most part unaware about the amount of my heart you hold…or held and for that I love you. Yes, I “got over you” in the sense that I stopped dreaming about you and me, I stopped being unable to blush when your name was said or when you smiled at me. I stopped crying about you. But I don’t ever think I can forget you. I know I may love someone else again, perhaps more and almost certainly just as much. But I will never forget you, because a part of me will never stop loving you.
I keep holding on to the “we’ll keep in touch promises” and the rumours that you are taking a gap year. Because to me you symbolize on of the first ventures into the complicated world where no body could shelter me…and you helped me realize that just because he breaks your heart he is not a horrible evil person and you can deal with it. For that too… I love you.
I honestly can't belive i have to say goodbye. That i have to go through the rest of my life and not feel that jump in my heart when i see you. no more you...
I love(ed?) you. I will miss you. All I ask is that you don't forget me....and I know I'll never forget you.