And So We Say Goodbye


Have you ever taken a good look at the people around you and actually imagined life without them? I haven’t even bothered to try……i am 17 and I have to say goodbye and start imaginig and realizing that he won't be around for ever.

This is for the one I loved. Yes, it was love. I have had my fair share of un-requited crushes and flings and a few relationships and none of them was ever like this one. I mean at first it was just a vague giddy crush and then as time passed by, it evolved into something more. I stopped caring about what you looked like or how you behaved or how people raised their eyebrows at the thought of “having feelings for you”. I could only focus in the way you hugs made me feel, the way you were so over-enthusiastic about everything you did, the way you teased me and claimed I was easily bugged. I wish that you had seen me just for once as more than a friend,because that’s a zone I knew I would never escape. I would have loved you with everything I had…because I already did.

I would have never been the jealous, suspicious type. I would have loved you and never stopped. I never will. You never crushed my heart…in fact you are for the most part unaware about the amount of my heart you hold…or held and for that I love you. Yes, I “got over you” in the sense that I stopped dreaming about you and me, I stopped being unable to blush when your name was said or when you smiled at me. I stopped crying about you. But I don’t ever think I can forget you. I know I may love someone else again, perhaps more and almost certainly just as much. But I will never forget you, because a part of me will never stop loving you.

I keep holding on to the “we’ll keep in touch promises” and the rumours that you are taking a gap year. Because to me you symbolize on of the first ventures into the complicated world where no body could shelter me…and you helped me realize that just because he breaks your heart he is not a horrible evil person and you can deal with it. For that too… I love you.

I honestly can't belive i have to say goodbye. That i have to go through the rest of my life and not feel that jump in my heart when i see you. no more you...

I love(ed?) you. I will miss you. All I ask is that you don't forget me....and I know I'll never forget you.

Comments

rosetintedview said…
yeah ive been where u are.
saying goodbye to someone you love is so sad.
i see love as the highest link of relationship that 2 people can have. and of course the higher the relationship the harder it is to break. but goodbye and the thought of never seeing that person again, its a wound to that bond.
DA BOSS said…
Te valde amo ac semper amabo...."I love you deeply, and always will"
Sharanya said…
:) ahh yess i remember that
Anonymous said…
if u hav lykd this guy for the past year or more n danced wi at imashi's party then i kinda kno hu u r tlkin bout if not forget this comment...
but believe me im sure tht he is really sry if u felt hurt or cried cos of him n i kno tht he wont let things get in the way of ur friendship wi him... im sure hed lyk to get to kno u btr than he already does, not to raise ur hopes or anythin but so tht he doesnt lose a great friend, its jus tht he lyks this other girl n was n is confused bout life n wut he shud do n i dont think he was or is ready to let go n open up to like another girl as much so dont b hard on urself...
just kno tht wut he wants most for u is for u to realize wut he cudnt n let anothr into ur heart lyk u let him n hav no regrets at all n still b good friends wi him..
b urself n no matter wut anybody tells u, ur a great friend n one thing he really regrets is pushin u away n not takin the time to get to kno u btr.. if u really want closure u shud tlk to him n figure summin out together... tc hugs
Sharanya said…
:) that loooong comment really made me feel all...better about the decision i had made...(see post titled "and so i DEALT with it)...
I do realise now i WAS being rather hard on myself and well he is an amzing friend and i really really want us to be that way. Like i said he represents the first venture into a world where i have to get hurt to learn and no matter how hard anybody tries they can't sheild you and you gotta learn it on your own.
someone once told me that i should never regret anything that once made me smile....
i never will :)
Thanx to whoever posted that comment....you helped me remove ll traces of self-doubt and remined me why he is my friend first and foremost! wgich i belive is what everyone should be :)
Anonymous said…
well im glad tht i was able to b of some kind of help... i kno tht he wud want u to b happy with ur lyf but know this.. you will meet sum1 out there in the world mayb somtym soon or l8r on in lyf who is a friend but cares for u more than others.. u shud let him into ur heart (or her whichevr u prefer) :-D hehe jus kiddin

ps this post n the earlier long comment was written by Jiraiya
if u hav any questions other than who i really am jus leave a post here n ill get back to u within the week :-D tc hugs
Sharanya said…
actually the only quetion i have is who are you? 'jiyaraji'?
Anonymous said…
cant u even copy a simple word??? its spelt as JIRAIYA not jiyaraji!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its pronounced as G-ra-ya

oh btw HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! Hope u Enjoyed ur Birthday...... all the best for the year to come n may ur dreams come true :D tc

JIRAIYA!!!!!!!!!!
Sharanya said…
thank youu...so you are either a fb friend or no me/a friend of mine... hmm the tc is beginig to sound waay familiar...
Anonymous said…
too bad i was trying to keep myself a mystery. just forget about who i am. it really doesnt matter.
Sharanya said…
okies then.
still think i could have figured this one out tho :P
xoxo
Anonymous said…
hey nice post.. who is the guy ur tlkin bout?? anyone i kno?? =)

btw who is this jiraiya fellow?? he is there in this cartoon program i watch as well..
tc hugs and kisses
ps - u kno u shud hav told me who the guy is n i cud hav helped u out..
querida
Sharanya said…
:) i really dnt wanna get into all that now...closed chapter in my life darling and i dnt want to re-open it just yet. i thot u didnt wanna be called querida (its suits u tho :P)
i wanna no who this dude is too... u know how i get when i dnt know things! btw thanx for offering to be there for me...u know im always there if u need to talk ok? :) xoxo amingo/querida
Anonymous said…
you spelt it write on my graffiti.. its amigo not amingo tht sounds lyk dingo.. :P

no probs wont open tht chapter in ur lyf.. im glad ur moving on n thanx for the other day it was good to tlk to sum1 bout tht matter..

pls lets close the chapter of my life with querida in it ya :D i really dont care if it suits me cos viran suits me soo much btr :)

tc n loads of hugs
Sharanya said…
ohh DINGO!! me likes :) hehe abt the othr day darling and fine i wont advocate the querida anymore....this is a HUGE sacrifice for me just so you know!!

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